I’ve never claimed to be an angel, but I believe that I do have a few virtues. For one, I don’t really lie (anymore). I stopped needing to after high school – the days of “no, Mom, I would never smoke a cigarette!” and “Mr. Morrissette, of course I didn’t skip enough classes to get expelled two weeks before graduation. Those teachers just overlooked me during attendance…a lot” are long gone. These days I don’t have any reason to lie.

I’m also not a very envious person. Somehow over the years I subconsciously decided that being me is a pretty good gig, and it’s not worth wishing I had other people’s lives or other people’s things. I’m nice to people, I’m grateful for what I’ve been given, and I’m generally a lover, not a hater. But one quality that I never quite got a handle on is the ability to feel happy for others.

A great man once said, “I’m not really happy for them. I mean, I’m glad they’re happy, but frankly it doesn’t do anything for me.” (Seinfeld, Season 4, Episode 22). This pretty much describes how I usually feel when something great happens to a friend. Um…no offense, friends J. I guess I just never learned how to genuinely feel excited for another person. But that doesn’t stop me from frequently saying things like, “I’m so excited for you!” …which – if what I’m saying is true – I guess would qualify as a lie, come to think of it. Oops. And sometimes I’m even less happy for people if their happiness negatively impacts my happiness. Like when my single friends get married and I don’t see them as much, or when I talk 3 of my co-workers into dropping their grad school classes so they’ll have more time for happy hour. That last example is strictly hypothetical, of course.

The thing is, I can still recognize that something is good and it makes my friend happy. And I do want my friends to be happy; it just doesn’t make me happy. I really only get happier if something good happens that affects me directly, like getting a raise, or reaching my fiber intake for the day. Then the feelings of joy are overwhelming.

So the real question is: am I a bad person for not being happy for others? Or am I just the only honest person who is willing to admit it? And the next question logically then would be: should I be being this honest in an unrestricted blog that my future employer is probably reading right now? (Closed circuit to my future employer: I’m really a good person, I swear). And the final question is, of course: do I care? And the answer to that is, as always, no.